Uncertainty breeds confusion and discontent—this is what I have seen quite a bit of on social media in the last couple of days since the election results.
The problem with deathcare law and policy is that throughout the last many, many, presidential administrations, not much has changed. Deathcare just isn’t on the radar for politicians. However, as I mentioned in my article about Death Doulas, there are some court cases bringing death care into the spotlight. The lack of a cohesive definition of death care and the absence of law and policy undergirding its practice is becoming a problem. Some groups have the luxury of taking the accessibility of deathcare for granted. Some groups do not have that privilege, especially if you prefer a death care memorial or body disposition that isn’t traditional.
Now that we know who the 2025-2029 president will be, it makes sense to discuss a few projections about how this will impact LGBTQIA+ death care. Let’s do this Q&A style. And if you have questions, reach out to us!
Q: What death care protections do I have against discrimination and will those be compromised after this election?
A: Currently, married LGBTQIA+ have spousal protections at death. This means that a surviving spouse will have the right to decide on memorial and disposition if no other legal documents or pre-arrangement plans have been made. Some are concerned about whether federal marriage law might be reversed or sent back to the states. One way to prepare is to create a legally-binding advanced death care plan. Each state has its own requirements so you’ll want to search for those. We do plan on adding those policies to our state-level resources in the near future. This is also a good idea if you are single or partnered but not married.
Q: It seems that the religious right is going to be in power (judicial, legislative, executive) for the next four years at the federal level. Also, many states seem to have made this shift as well. What does this mean for LGBTQIA+ and deathcare?
A: Many LGBTQIA+ folks have religious trauma from being rejected or harmed by the church. Despite this, many LGBTQIA+ folks are believers and wish to have a death care plan that aligns with these values and religious identity. Funeral homes have traditionally been founded on religious tenets, and in the U.S., these tenets are predominately Christian. As we have discussed in previous posts, service providers of all kinds have claimed religious exemptions when refusing to serve LGBTQIA+ people. It is possible this could also happen in death care. Our suggestion is to start planning early. It’s hard to think about your death care when you’re healthy, or young, or you don’t have the money to pre-arrange (you do not need money to pre-arrange!). Doing some homework on who and where you’ll get full, inclusive, and affirming services is critical to avoiding this type of discrimination. We hope that our growing list of state resources can help you find a provider near you. Also, consider alternatives like death doulas, who are often very knowledgeable about death care in your state.
Q: Who will stand up for me if I suffer discrimination while trying to pre-arrange my death care or if I am turned away for services because of my sexual and/or gender identity?
A: There are legal resources, such as Lambda Legal and the Human Rights Commission who have experts to assist you in navigating these complex situations. Although we are not legal experts or attorneys at Equal Deathcare, we are also here for you. We will listen to your story and try to connect you with the right resource for support and advocacy.
Q: Will there be any changes to the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule, such as funeral homes being required to put their general price list on their website?
A: Funeral homes, like many other U.S. industries, have a strong lobby in Washington. Although many funeral providers are good and honest people, they are still running a business and therefore survive on profits. So although it can feel icky to consumers, a funeral provider will try to upsell goods and services. The FTC attempts to monitor this behavior by secret shopping and collecting data on funeral homes. There have been a number of providers who have had to pay fines or have had sanctions for shady business practices. Also, for years, there has been little headway in forcing funeral homes to put pricing on their websites (although many do because it’s the right thing to do) which impairs consumers’ ability to make informed choices, especially during a time of loss and grief. We are uncertain if anything with the Funeral Rule will change. This is very much a “buyer beware” situation and consumers must do their research and weigh their options to protect themselves.
Q: I am a transgender person and I am wondering if the providers listed on your website are safe for me?
A: We want to be transparent that the websites we have vetted have explicit inclusive messaging, which is why we have included them in our list. However, we have not been able to test their knowledge of trans deathcare competence yet, but that is in our plan. We feel confident that if you reach out to one of the providers on the list, they will have an open conversation about your needs and concerns.
Q: As an LGBTQIA+ person, who can I go to for advanced planning that will be inclusive and affirming of my sexual and/or gender identity?
A: Currently, our co-founder Kat Vancil-Coleman is working on a trans deathcare advanced planning project. Reach out to her for more information. Also, our colleague and friend Tee Rogers has developed an advanced planning guide for LGBTQIA+ folks and for those with secular and religious identities. Tee’s guide can be found at About – Identity Affirming Deathcare Directives.
Other questions? Do not hesitate to reach out to us. We are here for you, and with an uncertain future, we all need to come together!
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